today, although nothing ultra big or eventful happened
i felt like a sponge, didnt matter whether i wanted it or not, God was going to use people,and even Himself to tell me things.
to pour things into my life.

and i know it's not going to be easy, never have been.

first thing, my grandmother's salvation.we keep thinking she has ten more years to live,one day she will definitely accept Christ.
but if my family, if i dont start now,when her time is up,how are we going to be sure she will be open?
how do we know she will even have the chance to tell Jesus she believes in Him?
i never want to have to go through a situation when someone close to my heart has gone
and i know i'll never see her/him again in heaven
when i had a million and one opportunities to know God, and i didnt just because of my inferiority complex.
but i know i have to start something now.
i know it will be weird telling my mom, that we have to intercede for my grandma, like who am i to talk about interceding right.
but if not us, then who?

second thing, cell leader role
before the end of the year
sarah is going to move up to graduates cell.
and i will really have to really lead the cell.
and the new people.
God You know i'm scared
You know I always think that being a cell leader is too big for me
it's too huge a responsibilityit's waay out of my comfort zone.
being a potential always seemed a better idea than living up to that potential.
but You have called us not to be comfortable at where we are,You called me to lead Your sheep
so really this day Lord I ask for Your boldness
I ask for discipline in my life
I ask for perseverance
Cos I really want to stand in the front lines
and lead your people.
I want them to receive, what You have given.
Help me take the initiative.
Lord mould me to be that leader.

Past few days as I pray and fast
I see what You really want
I see what the lost need
Seems like my eyes have opened to what You see.
and i dont cry out for myself and my problems anymore
I see the big picture much more clearly.
and I've realised how easily it is to lose Your voice the very minute I stop thinking about You.
The very second service ends, the very second cell ends,
It is like a switch, everyone puts God at the back of their minds and talk about other stuff.
and we think, as long as God is in there,somewhere, He'll be fine.
But you know how dangerous it is, to leave your mind empty?
The very minute, the very very second your heart, and your mind, is not on God and His Will,
the devil's temptations are so so so so subtle,
they slip into your mind and take away everything just like that.
i can feel so empowered one minute,
and the next second, i hear " you sure you're the one?"
that's how dangerous it is to lose focus of God.
cos the devil comes to steal,kill and destroy everything God has promised you
and sometimes these lies are so loud and so believable
you just fall into that trap of contentment at where you're at.
and you never really notice until, you see people growing rapidly, seeing visions and you have the urge to join them, but once again, inadequacy fills your mind and you think you're not good enough.

God I NEVER EVER WANT TO LEAVE YOUR PRESENCE
some people dont understand, dont believe,
the importance of being in Your presences
ome people downplay this presence, thinking it wont make a difference
but God i dont want to be away from you ever again
I want to be close to you, all the time, every minute of the day
I want to be so tuned into the spirit, that I never have to miss anything You say to me.
Lord I want your will to rule my life
I want you to be the number one.

I want You so much
that sometimes it cuts, and it hurts
when people around me dont want You as much.
I cant understand it.
I simply cant.
How could anyone not want to pray every chance they get?
How could people hate prayer, when the more i learn about prayer, the more i pray every week, the more my faith grows, the closer i go to you, the more victory my ministry has?
How could people chooose other activities over You?
What kind of worldly satisfaction could compare to a time with You?
God I pray this day You'll begin to unveil the covering before their eyes
Lord I pray this truth that they need You more than anything else in the world.
In this day, I pray for discipline in mine, and everyone else's life.
They will watch their behavior, words, and actions in their life
and do all that glorifies God.
Let's not be complacent at how we're living our lives.
Let's not be ignorant of the sins in our lives
Let's not even be immune to these sins.
Don't let sin, overrule the most important person in life.

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.
Most exalted name.